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My name is Bill Cross, I would like to take some time to answer some of your more difficult questions. such as:
Q: "Are you for real?"
We here at Global Monetary were only recently made aware of the fact that our company may not even exist. It was a great shock to many of our executives who depend as they do on their multi-million dollar salaries. We have yet to determine the answer to this question but, be assured, we have very skilled people working it.
I would, however, like to point out one correction to you. On our "About us" page it said that Global Monetary has $5 Billion in assets. What we meant to say was that Global Monetary had no money at all. This mistake was apparently due to a typographical error at our Montevideo office.
I would love to give you wonderful people my actual location and phone number, but due to the large numbers of hysterical letters I received from the "other-than-sane" community I will refrain from doing so. Part of the "whois" info is accurate though. The email address. It works just fine. Don't send mail to the postal address listed though, because it is just made up.
I must confess that I have learned alot about people from this experiment. I thought there was absolutely NO CHANCE in the world that anyone would actually apply to be implanted with what is obviously the "Mark of the Beast". But I was wrong. Scores of people have applied. Some of them were just jokers that's true. But many people actually posted credit card numbers over a non-secure connection to a strange company selling ID implants! If I hadn't seen it myself I would never have believed it (I have since removed the credit card posting option because I didn't want people thinking we were stealing credit card info.)
The success of this site has been phenomenal. It has been up for less than 24 hours and is already exceeding an otherwise ample server bandwidth capacity. This has happened with no paid publicity or really any effort at all.
Q: "Are you an evil devil worshiper?"
No. But thanks for asking.
Q: "Why are we doing this?"
Well, as are many of you, we are really disappointed that the year 2000 is coming up and we don't have George Jetson space cars yet. I think this is the concern of all Americans. But what we find to be totally unacceptable is that we are approaching the "millennium" without any real apocalyptic things happening yet. (Many of us are worried that people will forget to panic in January and cause Y2K to be a considerable let down.) We were not about to let a perfectly good millennium go by with out at least the Anti-Christ showing up or something. We didn't know how to make an Anti-Christ (that's something that they never seem to teach in schools anymore) so we figured it was our duty to peddle "The mark of the Beast" that sounded easy enough. It would provide entertainment for all those who secretly hope that the world would hurry-up and end.
Actually, in all seriousness, the reason this "IDchip Experiment" was conducted was an last ditch effort to probe the depths of millennial angst before the opportunity was gone.
Q: "Since Global Monetary has so many orders from eager implant customers, are you going to go ahead and implant them with a chip and make them your slaves?"
Yes. Actually any private info (names, numbers etc.) that they provided has already been destroyed or will soon be destroyed.
Q: "Do you believe that children are the future?"
I don't know. Sure, I guess so. Why not.
Q: "Do you own a black helicopter?"
No, but my aunt has one.
Q: "How can people (who aren't insane) contact you?
Send your nice, friendly email to Bill Cross. Drop a line just to let me know you are alive. If you're dead then please have a friend help you with this part.
Bill Cross, General Manager of Global Monetary
But wait there's more...
Q: "Tell me the again the demographic qualifications that are necessary to receive the $250 and the implant?
To qualify you must be:
Also, they don't get paid until after the implant procedure which will be done in the back of a pool hall.
Thank you all and have a pleasant tomorrow.